These days, many homosexuals use the word "queer" affectionately, but I'm more acquainted with a "negative aura" surrounding its usage. It's this derogatory context that made me think the Queers were the most aptly named band in rock. Beyond the Valley of the Assfuckers showed Joe Queer as a man who hated himself more than anyone I've ever known, his lyrics turning each Queers song into some beaten-down and bullied kid with ten middle fingers and a fistful of revenge. Each song was an insult or attack against itself and its listeners. By combining that aggressive approach with great hooks, The Queers made the immortal "Strangle the Girl". Back then I did not appreciate how much I liked that song. Months have passed since my first encounter with it and it remains stuck in my head like a candy bullet. "Strangle The Girl", in its own way, is as perfect a pop song as "Doo Wah Diddy".
Today maintains the Queers' knack for hooks, but it eliminates (or at least blunts) the group's pointed offensiveness. Sure, a girlfriend gets called "retarded" and a "bitch" in the first song, but that's quaint compared to Joe Queer's previous addiction to the word "cunt". Here, everything sounds radio-friendly, with nothing that dares God to prove His wrath by cutting off their dicks. That Casey Kasem might now get a long-distance request for The Queers is not necessarily a bad thing; I've always thought they could be a great straight rock band, and this time the Queers prove themselves better than Social Distortion at old-time rock.
Each of these five songs is hummable, mildly raucous fun. There are two major surprises here: their Beach Boys cover ("Salt Lake City") and Dave's wistful "I Don't Want to Go to the Moon". The latter is very similar to the Ramones' remake of Tom Waits' "I Don't Wanna Grow Up", except I actually think "Moon" is better written. And yet, for all the intelligence behind their new material, is the love song "I'm the Boy for You" really what Queers fans want today? Sure, it has some edge to it ("Walk around this stupid town/Waste my days away"), but far from enough edge to prevent the simple-minded from calling them sell-outs. In their defense, the Queers are simply asserting their dominance of the rock genre without musically restricting themselves from a wider base; at the same time, They're also transforming themselves from the best- to the worst-named band. Queers tunes are no longer emotionally discomforting wads of spit from the disenfranchised. Their posture's good now, and they seem healthy and beloved with no memories of pain or scorn, confusion or fright. The Queers now have high self-esteem and a place in cheerleaders' hearts; whether all this makes them rich or poor, I am not sure. I just know they're not queer anymore.
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