While they claim that these tunes are lost Misfits recordings, conveniently thieved from Touch & Go owner Corey Rusk's infamous Misfits coffin prop, there's a suspicious trace of the Goblins' ill-natured humor detectable on Missing Fits. Come on, folks -- would Señor Evil himself, Glen Danzig, really name any of his horror masterpieces "Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein", "The Clown is Getting Married" or "Necklace of Brains"? Well, the brain stuff is a possibility, but there's nothing scary about Messrs. Abbott and Costello or clown matrimony.
Employing Danzig's own patented "whoa-oh-oh" howling, as well as a thirst for something wicked this way coming, our poorly masked quartet has released an album with two obvious purposes: it's a genuine tribute to The Misfits, and a gruesome dispatch of punk rock terror, Goblins-style. Is it some sort of wicked joke? Or is it disgusting, ill-placed musical mockery? Consider "4 Food Groups", a song with the timeless lyrics, "Flesh...Flesh...Flesh...and Brains!" Try adding that to the food pyramid at your local elementary school. The Goblins don't hesitate to poke fun at The Misfits (hey, wait, I thought these were pre-Plan 9 originals!) on "Getting Ripped", as vocalist Phantom Creeper slurs:
Jerry come and spot me cause I'm maxing at one-fifty
Doyle bring me oil cause I'm looking pretty nifty
Bobby towel the bench off cause it's getting pretty sweaty
Robo get my protein shake, get it good and ready.
Has there ever been a tune about punk rock bodybuilding and mass-increasing shakes? I think not.
The Goblins' musical manifest includes keeping things short, sweet and sarcastically brilliant, with tunes regularly clocking in under the minute-thirty mark. You can't do Missing Fits justice without mentioning the well-written liner notes, penned by the relatively unknown yet scholarly-sounding Professor Yuri Strier, ethnomusicologist at the University of Chicago. Strier's musical musings add a bit of depth and clarity to the careening guitar manifestos and punk rock jabbering that dribbles from your speakers.
The world may never know who is really behind The Goblins' phantom masks, or learn the true nature of these cloaked tracks. What we do know is that The Goblins are full of shit, mischievousness and a keen sense of good-natured humor. So gel out your own devil-lock, fill you body full of creatine, and get to these eleven tracks of speedy horror-rock, just the way The Misfits probably did back in their early, garage-era days. Enjoy a good laugh and you'll find yourself singing along to many of these minor forms of art.
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